What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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