Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
