I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize