i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
