he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
