We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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