I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
