Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My life is pants optional.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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