you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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