He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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