Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
how does that bad decision feel?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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