Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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