absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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