I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
