like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
