she was so not down for the gang bang
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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