Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
