youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
