This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i will never coherently bang her
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I FOUND THE LEGS
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
