exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
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crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of