His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.