I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN