3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.