my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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