lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
