everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
