I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
