It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
