It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
