Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
