Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
