My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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