My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize