it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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