A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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