theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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