You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize