Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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