Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
