I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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