Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm sobbing to NWA
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
