wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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