tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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