JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
