She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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