you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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