As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
