I'm drive I can fine osifer
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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