Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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