(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
