that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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