Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
wanna go halves on a baby?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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