This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
