he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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