At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
only you would photoshop your dick
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
