I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
