Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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