dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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