he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
