at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
why didn't you poke me back
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
