oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
