I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
