Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
