I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
