why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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