he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
