fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
